Paterson Fined $62,125 Over World Series Tickets

Thanks to Diva for alerting us of Paterson's recent ethics violations! We hope he gets locked up!

Goose and Gander

The following is a thought from Uncle Dave's head, written on February 7th, 2002 and submitted to Ms. Cannon for OAC Writers' Craft class:


What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

Mmmmm. . . Goose

Goose?

Ya Goose!

Are you sure?

Yes.

And Gander?

I think so.

Well then.

Ya.

What about elephants?

Who the hell eats elephants?

Oh were talking about edible things.

Well I'd assume so, what else would ya put sauce on?

Ummm. . . A sauce pan.

Don't be stupid.

Well ya don't eat sauce pans now do ya, but ya do put sauce on them.

I think it's more like in them, then on them. Don't you?

Ok. . . ok, but it's not really to put on the goose or gander, the saying is sauce for the goose or gander.

Well what does a goose eat.

Goose food?

What's in goose food?

Ummm. . . Seed and stuff like that, I should think.

Who the hell puts sauce on seeds?

Gees and ganders aparintly. I guess they just go to the store and buy this sauce for there goose food?

Geese don't go to the store and buy things you idiot!

How do you know that?

Oh don't be retarded! Actually when I think about it, they don't even eat seeds. Don't they eat fish?

FISH! There not Gad dam whales!

Whales aren't the only aniamls that eat fish. We eat fish.

Ahhh.. Garry?

What?

What do you think that thing is on your back.

It's my wind indacator.

It's growing out of your back!!

I have a birth defect ok. I'm kinda sensitive about it.

Your a Whale Garry, and so am I.

What whales can't speak english.

Ya guess you got me there.

Fuddy Duddy

Here's your first taste of what's to come from the Einstein Crew Blogatorium.

We proudly present the masterpiece "Fuddy Duddy", rendered by our own Little Melted Shitface Boy. 

In case you're unfamiliar with this classic, it is an excerpt of a conversation Uncle Dave had with Jeremy over the telephone.

Stay tuned for:
- Photos (old and new)
- Messages from Dave's answering machine
- Footage from the Skandal Home Video, Operation Dumbo Drop
- Pages from "Uncle Dave's Thoughts", a book which was thought to be out of print but has been uncovered in original manuscript form

And much, much more. This is only the beginning. Send us your footage and pics and we'll put them up!

Welcome Einsteins!

You have stumbled across the official website of the Einstein Crew (in Kingston, Ontario).

Since our humble beginnings, the Einstein crew has expanded and has now travelled off to every corner of the globe. So, we have created this blog in order to keep track of what everyone's up to, and also to post Einstein-related content, old and new!

If you are a member of the Einstein crew, send an update at einsteinsblog@gmail.com and we'll post it here! We'll be adding more pictures, videos, informative articles, songs, Spencer rant transcriptions, old answering machine messages, and the like, so send us what you have in that department too!

Lastly, if anyone would like to be a regular contributor, tell us that too. You could make a video update, or write an informative article, or tell an old story or anything you like!